My current position is lying bundled up in my bed with a cup of coffee listening to the rain beating against my window. This morning was supposed to be run numero dos in my half marathon training but I’m thinking I’d rather not be swallowed up by the massive street puddles. So I’m just gonna stay here in my cozy cocoon and enjoy my last Saturday of freedom before our semester begins again on Monday.
Something you may or may not know about me is that I am an introvert. I guess a lot of bloggers are because online, through our writing, it’s one place we can be that bubbly, enthusiastic person we kinda wish that we were. So what does it mean to be an introvert? Well for one thing it means that you constantly get labelled as quiet or shy. But I prefer to think of myself as ‘selectively withdrawn.’ Because if something excites me then I’m ALL IN. I’ll be popping and locking with the best of them. But if I’m not feeling it, well then you probably won’t notice me slipping out the back door and racing home ASAP.
Right now everything is a little blurry. Not because I forgot to take my contacts out again and they have glued themselves to my eyeballs. Or because it is 5am and I hardly slept a wink last night. Nope. It’s blurry because of the hot tears streaming down my cheeks. Tears of disappointment, rejection, hurt, loss and anger. Tears for the almost and the not quite enough. If you have a second, let me tell you the story behind my most recent sadness.
Happy weekend. I mean since I’m now on holiday every day is technically the weekend but still, I do love me some sleepy Saturday morning bliss. I am so excited for this weekend because we are hosting a Mid-winter Christmas party at my flat and it is gonna be a holly jolly good time. Does it really get better than getting your twinkle on in July? I am up for any excuse to pull out the Christmas decorations and listen to carols all day. I’m also planning on making mulled wine because nothing says winter like cinnamon sticks and steamy mugs. Can you tell that I’m positively beaming about this party?
Guess who is riding that blissful post-exam high right now? Yeah it’s me. I am pleased as punch let me tell ya. I never knew stress before until this semester. It’s funny because I’m the leader of a high school girls small group and I love them to bits but the other day they were complaining about their assignments and stress and it took everything within me to stop myself breaking their sweet, naive little hearts. Honey, you have no clue what stress is. Wait until you are buried five feet under a pile of textbooks, study notes and flashcards. Then we can talk. Because hell hath no fury (or stress) like a menstruating woman in finals week.
I don’t know about you but I’m in desperate need of a holiday. Like a full-on escape and lie on the beach for two weeks with no responsibilities kinda thing. Unluckily for me it is very much winter here and if I were to trek to the beach I would need a raincoat and rubber boots rather than sunblock and a cute swimsuit. However, in T minus 4 days I will in fact be on holiday! Praise the Lord. I cannot wait. I’m already planning out exactly how much nothingness I want to do on my first day off. It is gonna be glorious.
What a title right? If you are expecting this might be a heavy, deep post then you are correct. Those are my favourite kind of posts. The ones that make me squirm to write. The ones that make my heart race and give me sweaty palms when I hit ‘publish.’ Because these are the posts that always hit home. There is no BS here. We aren’t gonna beat around the bush. I gonna be completely honest with you about the one thing that makes and breaks me. The very best and very worst thing about myself. And yes I totally just wrote this nice, fluffy intro to put off getting into the meaty stuff just a little bit longer.
Ugh I’m feeling a little worse for wear today. I will talk more about the reason why later on but basically I had very little sleep last night and I am feeling it today. You don’t realize how important sleep is until you are walking around like a dangerously caffeinated zombie on the verge of chomping someone’s head off. Some people are really good at surviving on minimal sleep, but I am not one of them (how else would I stay so young and vibrant 😉 ) So if you need me I’ll be napping.
I am currently writing this before it is even light outside ugh Winter. Don’t you hate when you can sleep in on the weekend but your body has other ideas? Especially when you know you really need the sleep like I do. My day is gonna be jam-packed so I need all the beauty sleep I can get. I promised my friend that I would go running with her which seemed like a great idea at the time but in my current bleary-eyed state it feels a little optimistic.
Our internet went down this morning which is why this post is so late. That and I also slept in and got distracted watching Youtube videos at my brother’s flat when I was supposed to be studying. But here we are nonetheless. Another week under our belts. I hope you have had a marvelous week. I always think my week has been very dull until I sit down to write these posts and suddenly I remember all the exciting things that happened. It is a sign of my age that I now get excited about new appliances and comfortable chairs in cafes.