Twenty one (+ life lessons for twenty-somethings)

Hey friends!

So over the weekend I had my birthday party and I thought today I’d share with you a few pictures and words of wisdom I have acquired over my twenty one years. It’s funny because 21 is an age that everyone makes such a deal about. It’s when you supposedly become a fully-fledged adult with all sorts of legal rights and responsibilities.

Except, in NZ most of those rights actually kick in when we turn 18 so technically I’m already very much an adult. But even if I’ve been drinking cocktails and been eligible to vote for three years…it is only now that I truly feel like an adult.

And this is not entirely because of my age, but rather because of who I now am.

My best friend wrote in my birthday card that she can hardly believe I’m the same shy, sheltered girl she met three years ago. And I think that’s an incredible testimony to the way God, molds us into something spectacular in his time (if we let him.)

Of course, it should be said that, that process of being molded causes many tears and growth pains as I am so very familiar with. This hasn’t been all smooth sailing but I believe that every bump in the road has smoothed off one rough edge or another to make me a better person in the long run.

So there you have it, I’m grateful for the scars I bear as they remind me just how strong I am. 

Anyway, seeing as I am now an adult and therefore know everything, I thought I’d share some of that wisdom with you.

What I’ve learnt so far…

About love:

Never be ashamed of your feelings

Of course this is easier said than done. Society would have us bottle up our feelings and never expose ourselves or others to the embarrassment of having them shared.

But my personal belief is that it’s a beautiful thing to love and beautiful things should be shared. 

There is no shame is loving deeply or being emotional. It’s a gift and something that should be cherished.

Love should be shared

I think it’s an awful shame to pine after someone for years and never tell them how you feel. There aren’t many people we will truly love in this life…don’t miss the chance to share that.

When you care that much about someone I think they deserve to know, after all, it’s never a bad thing to hear that someone loves you.

Heartbreak is painful, but you will bounce back

You will always bounce back given enough time.

And you may be surprised to find that when you bounce back, you are somehow stronger than before. You learn things about yourself that you never knew before.

You are stronger, braver and capable of more than you know.

Related: Heartbreak lessons: Why love is always a fall…

twenty-one

Every relationship teaches you something 

It feels to me like I’ve had an awful lot of belly-flop-relationships. I’ve taken a running leap and landed flat on my face a few too many times.

However, I don’t regret any of them because they taught me who I am and what I am looking for in the person I spend the rest of my life with.

About confidence:

It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about you

The sooner you stop trying to please other people, the better.

Because as Dita Von Teese puts it, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”

Don’t waste time trying to impress people who don’t matter.

You weren’t made to fit in, you were made to stand out

I spent far too long trying to be like everyone else. I thought if I was skinnier or funnier or could just like the same books, movies and music as everyone else I’d be happy.

But funnily enough, it is exhausting trying to be something you’re not. And people tend to like the real you better anyway.

You are enough, just the way that you are

You don’t need to be taller, louder, thinner, faster or smarter…stop believing those lies!

Embrace your wonderful, wonky self. There is only one you and wouldn’t you rather be an original than a carbon copy?

About dreams:

You have a unique purpose

It might take you a while to figure out exactly what that is, but trust me, you will. You were born for such a time as this. You can make a difference right where you are, today.

Believe in yourself, trust your gut and be humble enough to seek guidance from others.

Doing what you love is worth more than wealth, pride or people’s’ good opinion

It might feel scary admitting those deeply-rooted dreams to other people or even yourself, but it’s the good kind of scary.

It’s scary because maybe, just maybe those dreams could come true. If you’ll only allow yourself the chance to try and fail, you never know what might happen.

Keep hoping, praying and dreaming BIG.

About faith:

God is sovereign, he is in control, he is good and can be trusted

It’s a truth that every Christian must wrestle with and come to their own opinion on.

Relationships require trust and trust means understanding that the person/thing you are relying on is good and will not let you down.

You have to know that you know that you know…and until you do, keep searching!

It’s scary letting go of the reigns but that’s where we find freedom

Oh how we love to be in control. We love to have things our way. We love to be in the driving seat steering ourselves in the direction that best suits us.

What a pity that, that is never the way God intended for us to live.

Ironically, we FIND our lives when we lay them down. When we surrender all to God…that’s when we find all that we are looking for: peace, security, happiness.

Related: How to let go of control and go with the flow

Nothing satisfies besides God’s love 

Because believe me, I’ve searched for it within myself and within others and I’ve only ever come up empty.

I know now how it feels to be FULL. Full of life, love and joy. So full that I cannot help but spill out that love onto those around me. So full that I feel as though nothing and nobody can stand in my way.

There is no other love that can elicit such power.  

So my friends, here’s to the next twenty one years of growing and learning together!

 

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14 Comments

  1. Yayyy! I was so happy to see a post from you! 😀 Happy (early) birthday! Your party looks like it was so much fun. I love all of your funky socks!

    It’s also true that we need to let go of wanting to feel in control before we can truly experience peace and security. Lately I’ve been in a lot of situations where parts of my life are out of my control–but I just have to remember that one truth and life seems 100% better!

    1. It has been a while right?! I had such a great time at my party. It was really fun seeing what socks people decided to wear. It was sad to see how many people struggling to find fun socks though…that neeeds to change.

  2. Love this post and happy birthday!! I hope your party was as awesome as you are! Also, I loved these realizations and lessons that you’ve had. So much wisdom in this post! I’m one for reflecting often and I needed that reminder of God’s sovereignty. I think sometimes it’s so easy to get so wrapped up on what’s going wrong that we forget that. Truly nothing can satisfy but God. So true! <3

    1. Thank you Ro. My party was so much fun. Same here. So often I forget that God is in control of my situation. But knowing that truth really does cast out all fear.

  3. Megan I love everything about this post. Everything is so. dang. true. I am still learning some of these lessons now. Thanks for sharing all this wisdom, I especially loved “it doesn’t matter what others think of you” and God is sovereign. Ah, He is! I have so many tumultuous emotions right now with decisions in my life, so this came at a timely season. Thank you for sharing, love.

    1. Aw that’s so lovely to hear. I hope that you feel God’s peace in whatever decisions you have to make and that you’ll now he is with you through it all! Also, tumultuous is a great word 😉

  4. Megan! I loved this. Happy birthday! 🙂
    These are all such good lessons, and it’s awesome that you’ve already come to these realizations. Some people go their whole lives and never learn the things you said here.
    I can definitely relate to trying to be something I’m not (trying to be more outgoing when really that just wears me out, haha). It’s only within the last few years that I’ve started being more comfortable with who I am and where I am in life, and realizing that I’m enough, just the way I am. Thank you for these beautiful reminders.

    Also, your party looked like so much fun – everyone looks so happy! And I’m obsessed with those sock photos! 🙂

    1. Thanks Bria <3 ugh I was always trying to be outgoing as I was growing up and I still fall into that trap sometimes. I'm glad that you have learnt to love your introverted self and now encourage others to do the same...that's pretty awesome.
      The socks were pretty awesome 😛 I was very happy I chose that as my theme

  5. I LOVE YOU, and I can not believe either that you used to be really shy and quiet; there is a vibrancy and sweet joy about you that always overflows into me whenever I talk to you, read your blogs, or see your Instagrams.

    Not masking my feelings and sharing them is still hard for me, but I’ve realized that people appreciate hearing what you’re going through and wrestling with especially if you need their advice/listening ear.

    And love is always worth it even if it hurts, because heartbreak does teach us so many precious blessings, even though it’s not easy. God’s sovereign working in heartbreak is absolutely glorious, even in every part of our life. I”m so thankful God is sovereign.

    1. Aw I love you too! I think I appear more confident in my writing than what I really am…it’s an illusion! haha. People really do appreciate hearing your struggles because it helps them learn from your mistakes or at least feel that they aren’t alone.

  6. Looks like such a fun celebration! It’s pretty amazing all the life lessons that are jumbled up in your twenties. I totally agree with all of these. It’s always interesting to see the individual experiences each year brings and how that affects and shapes who we are!
    Happy belated birthday!

    1. I feel like there is such a crazy amount to learn! I’m kinda just faking it till I make it which I guess is what everyone else is doing too haha. Thanks!

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