If you’ve been around here for a little while then you know that I’m a bit of a romantic. I’m an absolute sucker for all things love and sweetness and I proudly wear my heart on my sleeve. So yeah I’m kinda jazzed for today’s blog post. Today we are talking about love (ooh la la) but less of the cheesy heart-shaped balloons and rose petals stuff and more on how to love people better.
So for all of you single senoritas out there, fear not, this still totally 100% applies to you. Love comes in all sorts of ways, shapes and forms- be it romantic, or platonic- and we all need a little help being better at showing it to those around us. Enter in the five love languages…
A little while back I shared a post about my love language and I was kinda surprised that a whole bunch of you had never even heard of the love languages before. So let’s set the record straight in case that’s you.
What are the love languages?
There are five of them and they go something like this:
Words of affirmation- pouring out your heart using your words to build people up. You desire approval and attention and words spoken to you hold more power than they do to others. You do not appreciate the silent treatment or thoughtless harsh, responses.
Physical touch- just as it sounds, you express your affection through physical touch. You are a hugger and you make no apologies for it! You have been known to smother on the odd occasion. You hate when people are distant and you feel avoidance or neglect very strongly.
Receiving gifts- you give thoughtful gifts as physical tokens of your affection. You are a fan of little notes, cutesy random objects and special occasions. You really hate it when people forget special anniversaries or give generic presents.
Quality time- you love nothing more than spending precious one-on-one time with people. You love to be acknowledged and feel special when you have undivided attention. Nothing frustrates you more than petty distractions or last minute cancellations.
Acts of service- you are one to do something out of the goodness of your heart to serve someone. You see love as an action. You are a helper and you give with no strings attached. It drives you crazy when people take you for granted or don’t pull their weight.
Why do the love languages matter?
So that sounds lovely and all, but what do these languages even mean in terms of building better relationships?
Basically if you think about how confusing it is to have a conversation with a person who speaks another language, it can be pretty difficult to get to know someone when you can barely move past ‘hello.’ And it works exactly the same way with your love language.
You can’t develop meaningful relationships with those around you when you can’t understand each other.
The ONE thing that all of us are searching for is love and affirmation- to be known and appreciated- which is why we desire deep relationships with those around us.
So knowing how you show love and how your closest friends/family show love is so so important. When you know the kind of love that others need, then you can show just how much you care and make them feel good. And when you know the kind of love you need, you can understand why some relationships make you feel neglected.
For example, my mama (bless her heart) his a big fan of hugs. She’s so bubbly and cuddly which is a wonderful thing except I am NOT. I’m prickly like a porcupine and I’ll hug you out of politeness and duty but nothing more. So obviously there’s a clash of interests when it comes to showing love in our relationship.
And someone’s gotta give! That means that I recognize my mama just wants to show she cares and so I give her hugs to fill up her love tank but she also recognizes that her hugs make me feel suffocated in large doses so she restrains herself.
Knowing all of that makes our relationship 100x better.Love looks different to everybody. What's your love language? Click To Tweet
How do I find out what my love language is?
I’m willing to bet that you already can tell what your top love language is even just reading the description but quizzes are fun so you should totally take the quiz anyway.
The cool thing is that you probably don’t just speak one love language, you are mostly likely a little bilingual when it comes to love (does that make you feel smarter too or just me?)
So it’s a brilliant idea to find out what your top love languages are and also to know which ones you don’t speak so well because obviously if you are trying to connect with others that is gonna be important!
Now that’s cool and all but how do you translate that into loving people better? Well my friend, in order to do that you’ve got to learn to speak those other languages. Which I’ll be honest is much easier said than done.
But where there is a will, there is a way…and I’ve got the way for you. I’ve created a snappy little guide to speaking the different love languages which you can download right now #winning.
It’s a whole bunch of different ways you can show love in whatever language your amigo speaks. Give them a go and let me know what happens!
Now tell me…
Which love language do you find the most difficult to understand?
What is one thing that makes you feel loved?