Learning to speak the five love languages

Hi friends!

If you’ve been around here for a little while then you know that I’m a bit of a romantic. I’m an absolute sucker for all things love and sweetness and I proudly wear my heart on my sleeve. So yeah I’m kinda jazzed for today’s blog post. Today we are talking about love (ooh la la) but less of the cheesy heart-shaped balloons and rose petals stuff and more on how to love people better.

So for all of you single senoritas out there, fear not, this still totally 100% applies to you. Love comes in all sorts of ways, shapes and forms- be it romantic, or platonic- and we all need a little help being better at showing it to those around us. Enter in the five love languages…

A little while back I shared a post about my love language and I was kinda surprised that a whole bunch of you had never even heard of the love languages before. So let’s set the record straight in case that’s you.

Love looks different to everyone. If we don't communicate love in a way that others understand it creates all kinds of problems in our relationships. That's why the five love languages are so important. Learn to speak the love languages and you can then love others better!

What are the love languages?

There are five of them and they go something like this:

Words of affirmation- pouring out your heart using your words to build people up. You desire approval and attention and words spoken to you hold more power than they do to others. You do not appreciate the silent treatment or thoughtless harsh, responses.

Physical touch- just as it sounds, you express your affection through physical touch. You are a hugger and you make no apologies for it! You have been known to smother on the odd occasion. You hate when people are distant and you feel avoidance or neglect very strongly.

Receiving gifts- you give thoughtful gifts as physical tokens of your affection. You are a fan of little notes, cutesy random objects and special occasions. You really hate it when people forget special anniversaries or give generic presents.

Quality time- you love nothing more than spending precious one-on-one time with people. You love to be acknowledged and feel special when you have undivided attention. Nothing frustrates you more than petty distractions or last minute cancellations.

Acts of service- you are one to do something out of the goodness of your heart to serve someone. You see love as an action. You are a helper and you give with no strings attached. It drives you crazy when people take you for granted or don’t pull their weight. 

Why do the love languages matter?

So that sounds lovely and all, but what do these languages even mean in terms of building better relationships?

Basically if you think about how confusing it is to have a conversation with a person who speaks another language, it can be pretty difficult to get to know someone when you can barely move past ‘hello.’ And it works exactly the same way with your love language.

You can’t develop meaningful relationships with those around you when you can’t understand each other.

The ONE thing that all of us are searching for is love and affirmation- to be known and appreciated- which is why we desire deep relationships with those around us.

So knowing how you show love and how your closest friends/family show love is so so important. When you know the kind of love that others need, then you can show just how much you care and make them feel good. And when you know the kind of love you need, you can understand why some relationships make you feel neglected.

For example, my mama (bless her heart) his a big fan of hugs. She’s so bubbly and cuddly which is a wonderful thing except I am NOT. I’m prickly like a porcupine and I’ll hug you out of politeness and duty but nothing more. So obviously there’s a clash of interests when it comes to showing love in our relationship.

And someone’s gotta give! That means that I recognize my mama just wants to show she cares and so I give her hugs to fill up her love tank but she also recognizes that her hugs make me feel suffocated in large doses so she restrains herself.

Knowing all of that makes our relationship 100x better.

Love looks different to everybody. What's your love language? Click To Tweet

How do I find out what my love language is?

I’m willing to bet that you already can tell what your top love language is even just reading the description but quizzes are fun so you should totally take the quiz anyway.

The cool thing is that you probably don’t just speak one love language, you are mostly likely a little bilingual when it comes to love (does that make you feel smarter too or just me?)

So it’s a brilliant idea to find out what your top love languages are and also to know which ones you don’t speak so well because obviously if you are trying to connect with others that is gonna be important!


Now that’s cool and all but how do you translate that into loving people better? Well my friend, in order to do that you’ve got to learn to speak those other languages. Which I’ll be honest is much easier said than done.

But where there is a will, there is a way…and I’ve got the way for you. I’ve created a snappy little guide to speaking the different love languages which you can download right now #winning. 

It’s a whole bunch of different ways you can show love in whatever language your amigo speaks. Give them a go and let me know what happens!

 

M x

Now tell me…

Which love language do you find the most difficult to understand?

What is one thing that makes you feel loved?

 

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19 Comments

  1. Hehe, I’m not much one for hugging either so I feel that! 😛 I took the quiz a while ago and mine are receiving gifts and quality time, almost equally. Something that makes me feel loved is going on a friend date or a real date with just me and one other person/the fiancé. There really is nothing like a quality one-on-one chat! 🙂

    1. Okay so we are literally the same person. Those are my love languages too how about that?!I LOVE nothing more than having a good one on one chat. Give me all the attention.

  2. Love languages are so important to know. I am the most difficult person on the planet. Not only am I an INFJ (the rarest personality type), I’m also TIED for THREE love languages as my strongest. Quality time, physical touch, and words or affirmation are ALL tied for me… haha!And you want to know my husbands top two? The two that are low on mine – acts of service and gifts! Needless to say, it’s been interesting and fun to figure out how to express our love to each other!

    1. Oh gosh you are a little complicated haha! That’s funny that your husband has the two you don’t as his top. I guess having three tied isn’t so bad because it gives others lots of options for loving you!

  3. Hmm…. I love hugs from certain people. And I also really really appreciate when people do acts of service without being asked; for some reason that just really stands out to me. I love the love languages idea, because you are so right. It does help us understand each other better and love one another better. 🙂

  4. I always love learning more about the love languages. Quality time and words of affirmation are my top two. I’m an ENFJ and so is my hubby, but our love languages are completely different.

    1. It’s so interesting finding out what peoples love languages are. And even more interesting to hear how couples manage to negotiate when their languages are really different!

  5. I have always been so fascinated by the love languages. Mine are definitely words of affirmation and physical touch, with quality time being a close 3rd! Give me all the words because it makes my heart melt haha. I always try to do the same for others and sometimes it doesn’t really phase them. It’s so interesting to see how we are all different!

    1. Me too, they are so interesting. Aw that’s pretty cute. Mine is receiving gifts so I’m always do that to everyone else too but most of the time they don’t appreciate it like I would. Gift giving is a very mis-understood one!

  6. I loved reading this book! If I were to rank the five love languages from the one that is most me to the one that is the least me… my husband and I are the same. Ours are in the same order!

    1. It is such an interesting book. Crazy how many marriages He has been able to save because of working through the love languages with the couples. Wow that’s pretty amazing that you guys are exactly the same! Lucky you!

    1. Oh really? Well I’m glad I could help you out then. You should definitely take a look at the book for more info because it is very interesting stuff! Thanks for reading.

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