People are so complicated right? Every person you meet is so incredibly unique and whilst that is a wonderful thing (because a billion clones would be rather dull) it also makes life hella confusing. You never know if someone will be offended by the things you say or will think you’re a hoot.
And when it comes to relationships…well that’s a whole other ball game. No matter how many people you ask for advice, you’ll get all sorts of different opinions. Because people are so different there is no one size fits all answer when it comes to love. But there ARE a whole bunch of red flags to look out for that are warning signs that the relationship you are pursuing is no good. In which case you should run as fast as your cute, tan boots will allow you.
First things first, I want to point out something that you have probably been told a billion times before but I think it’s really important so one more time won’t hurt.
Don’t allow yourself to succumb to the fear that if you don’t stay with this person then you will end up alone with 40 cats.
I personally don’t believe in soulmates or subscribe to the idea that someone is THE ONE for you. I believe that you could be happy with any number of people. Therefore, I don’t allow myself to hold on too tightly to one person because letting them go won’t mean letting go of my one chance at love.
If any of these red flags do apply to your current relationship then girl…you gotta leave right now. You are worth so much more than this.
6 relationship red flags to look out for:
When you feel bad about yourself.
You should never feel like you aren’t good enough to be with someone and if they are the one making you feel that way then there is definitely something wrong with the relationship. There is no such thing as too loud, too quiet, too emotional or too sociable .
There isn’t something wrong with you…you probably just aren’t a good fit with this particular person.
I remember there was this one guy who I really fancied but every time we hung out I would feel so stupid. He was so much more intelligent than me and he unintentionally made me feel as smart as a goldfish (i.e. not very.) I realize now that the very fact I felt this way around him was a sign that we just would not make a good match.
When you disagree on fundamental things.
I’m not talking about which ice cream flavour is the best (chocolate fudge obviously) or whether Beyonce is queen or not (she is.) I’m talking about the serious, deep, core values that you hold. Are you a Christian? Do you believe that men and women are equals? Are you opposed to people eating meat?
These are the kinds of things that make you who you are and aren’t something you should compromise for a relationship.Don't lose yourself just to be in a relationship. Click To Tweet
When they bring out your nasty side.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve certainly had friends in my life who bring out the worst in me. Like whenever I’m with them I become someone else, someone I’m not proud of!
If you find yourself slipping into mean girl mode whenever you are with them then they probably aren’t the best person for you.
If gossiping about others or bullying and manipulating people is what you do together then you really should think twice about this person.
When you are bored.
They might be really cute but if the conversation just doesn’t flow and you have absolutely nothing to talk about then you should probably let them go. Arm candy is nice and all but I’d much rather have someone whose conversations won’t be as dull as watching paint dry.
I fully believe that the sign of a good relationship is one where you just click. Where it feels natural and effortless. The kind of person who could be your best friend (because hello that’s what they eventually become!) I think that kind of relationship is worth waiting around for, don’t you?Your forever person will also be your best friend. Click To Tweet
When they don’t respect you.
Obviously you can’t be a total diva and expect them to bow to your every whim and fancy (pity that) but girl you deserve some R-E-S-P-E-C-T…respect!
Do not put up with someone who doesn’t understand the concept of basic manners. Holding doors open, offering you the last slice of pizza, introducing you to their friends. It’s the little things that say a whole lot about who they are!
I guess part of this is also knowing your own worth and expecting nothing but the best. So let me just remind you that you are one divine individual who is valuable and enough just as you are. Keep your standards high because if you set the bar high, they will rise to meet it.
When they don’t want the same thing as you.
Possibly one of the most important things to consider when entering a relationship with someone is the nature of the relationship. If you are after a serious, committed relationship and they just want something casual then that’s just not gonna work.
You’ve got to be honest and it can be really hard. But if marriage, babies and a white picket fence is your heart’s desire then don’t go pretending you’re happy with their loosy goosy, flaky plans for the future.
As uncomfortable as it may feel, it makes sense to talk about this stuff before it gets too serious because believe me, it will save you a whole lot of heartache.
So promise me this, before you go chasing that tall, dark and handsome hunk, you’ll remember to look out for these red flags.
Pin this for later so you don’t forget:
Lastly, I want to share this quote because it’s too precious and something worth remembering. True love is worth waiting for.
“You don’t have to worry about finding love, you’ll always find love, every pot has it’s lid.” – Amy Poehler
Now tell me…
Do you agree with my red flags?
What red flags would you add?